Sunday, January 11, 2009

wish i was a baller.....

its sunday, football day. we have some folks over to watch the game and enjoy some jambalaya, cheap beer and various dips that have been sitting in our fridge waiting to be consumed on occasions such as these. everyone is shouting, having a joyous time. i'm having a good time yet i have this horrible horrible guilt. i fucking hate football. hate sports in fact. i try. i try so hard. i just don't get it really. i like the aspect that sports bring all my friends together. but i just don't feel the love for a team. the feeling of being so into a sport or player that i am moved to jump up and down and scream. i am missing that gene. it makes me feel kinda weird and bad. i tried to think of what kind of sport i could really get into. iceskating is not a sport really. not a team sport. i guess the closest i can get to liking a team sport is just liking bands. i remember when Starter jackets were wildly popular when i was in 7th and 8th grade. i felt so out of place because i was the only one in my school other than my best friend colin, not to have one. i remember wishing desperately that they would come out with a Led Zeppelin Starter jacket. so i could join in the fun. I guess my role in sports life will be that of maid. feeding fans and cleaning while secretly having a panic attack that i am wasting my life for half of the day. jeeeez.

13 comments:

Netimage said...

I know how you feel I competely understand. I can't get into dedicating time to sitting down and watching sports either. I just don't get it. I feel your pain.

Crump said...

Maybe major sports like football and basketball just aren't your style. Perhaps you would be more into something like:

Caber toss: a traditional Scottish athletic event practiced at the Scottish Highland Games involving the tossing of a large wooden pole called a caber, similar to a telephone pole or power pole.

Donkey basketball: a variation on the standard game of basketball, played on a standard basketball court, but in which the players ride donkeys.

Kiiking: a sport that was invented in Estonia by Ado Kosk around 1996. In a kiiking swing, the swing arms are made of steel to enable a person to swing 360 degrees going over the spindle of the swing

Noodling: a southern US practice of fishing for catfish using only bare hands.

Octopush (aka Underwater Hockey): a non-contact sport in which two teams compete to maneuver a puck across the bottom of a swimming pool into goals.

World Beard and Moustache Championship: self explanatory. http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/ for more info

Wendy said...

.... me too, I always feel semi-lost with what's happening in sports? I'll typically bring my stained glass pieces to foil to pass the time "productively"!

The things that interest me? Music, art... so, when and where will you be playing in Asbury as a follow up to the Darfur concert? You were great by the way, bronchitis or not!

Michael Slominski said...

This lack of appropriate enjoyment, if not reverence, for football is very disturbing. And in general, don't you know that you must like all the things your friends like or else you're a bad friend. Perhaps you should feel even more guilty!!

Seriously, it sucks when your friends are all bonding and connecting and you're sitting all by yourself on the island of misfit toys making dip. But really, it's no big deal because we all spend time on the island of misfit toys - just don't buy a home there. (You have my permission to use any of this in a song if you like - though I might, so be forewarned).

BTW, where's the Nicole Atkins and the Sea starter jacket? And how's your Bronchitis?

The Running Bob said...

As I got older it finally struck me that I, too, was wasting four hours of my life watching football --then again, as a former Cleveland Brown's fan it shouldn't have taken years to realize this. Rather be playing or doing something else then being a spectator.

Hal Hansen said...

Holy crap...a Led Zeppelin 80's style starter jacket would be so badass.

kala said...

Octopush?! If there is a Long Island Octopush team, I must join it.
To add to the list of interesting/non mainstream sports, I would like to input Hooverball.
Created by herbert hoover's physician, it is an amazingly fun sport wherein one tosses a Hooverball (4 or 6lb medicine ball) over a volleyball net much like volleyball but scored like tennis. Much beer is consumed and many muscles are born. I highly recommend it.

dreamstablekeeper said...

I think you’ve got your guilt misplaced. Sports and alcohol are the opiates of the proletariat. Your government wants you to be continuously distracted and/or not thinking clearly. This way they can continue to do the things they do with a minimum of protest from the masses. Televised team sports preach the value of “teamwork,” or how to be a good worker bee within corporate structures. It’s brainwashing.

So you don’t like football and the friends that surround you in your own home do. That’s not guilt—that’s isolation. Finding yourself outside the group-think of the herd is lonely. Give yourself a break and pat yourself on the back for not being one of the sheeple.

If you need to feel guilty about something, think of the amount of the four major food groups (coffee, beer, pot, and cigarettes) you consume on a regular basis. I don’t take you for someone who smashes her guitars like Pete Townsend. When you sleep, they are on guitar stands or in a case. Your voice in encased inside your body. Haven’t you noticed you succumb to illness rather easily when you travel or when the weather’s cold?

I won’t preach to you about health, but you could take better care of your instrument if you wanted to. Trust yourself, your instincts have gotten you this far. And if that fails, listen to your inner horse.

Netimage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lewis said...

you just have to do what i do: root for the teams with the prettiest jerseys!

Opinionated Jaahil said...

I remember pretending to like Manchester United because my boyfriend liked them. It wasn't pleasant. I have since given into to the fact that I am atheletically backwards and will always remain so. Sigh.

MachineOfaDream said...

There's no one way to enjoy sports. Some people like to do all this chest banging kind of thing, some people have nothing better to do, and some people genuinely enjoy seeing the game played well. I admire professional athletes in the same sort of way I admire it when a good guitarist plays something mind-blowing. Now, that's not to say I am going nuts on every play on every game of football - I'm not at all. But sometimes you get a good game or a great feat of planning and teamwork which is enjoyable to watch. Other times I just want to turn the game off. It depends. I'd still prefer good music to a good game of football, though.

susan said...

Ha I felt the same way about Starter jackets. I had totally forgotten about them. But remember when people wore jackets that were for teams and were called the dreaded 'p' word (poser) if they weren't real fans?